Mille Grenough: The Grenough Process

Millie Grenough, President of Grenough LLC
in the news

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Millie Grenough on NewsChannel 8
See Author Millie Grenough in action: Channel 8 special with Jocelyn Maminta on Women & Stress

Inhale, exhale ... Millie Grenough can't stress enough how easy it is to be more relaxed
By Sandi Kahn Shelton , Register Staff
from the

Millie Grenough of New Haven spent much of her time recuperating from an accident and planning life changes from this spot in her back yard. Melanie Stengel/Register

It's not just you.

The whole world is just the tiniest bit stressed out lately. There's plenty to worry about, too: the price of gasoline, the war in Iraq, a brand-new hurricane season, road rage, the impending arrival of the avian flu, the 5 pounds you put on this winter that haven't come off yet when here it is, almost time to wear your bathing suit again.

All of it rides around in your subconscious mind, even when you're not directly thinking about trouble, says Millie Grenough, a New Haven author, executive coach and speaker, who has developed ways — four, to be exact — to keep the stress from creeping up and finally flattening you.

And don't worry. You don't have to go away on vacation, or become the best pal of the Dalai Lama to make these stress reduction techniques work. You don't even need to start listening to New Age music. All you need, Grenough says, is one minute, 60 tiny seconds, and you'll be on your way to rewiring your brain to feel better.

"You can even do them at your desk," says Grenough, who wrote the book, "Oasis in the Overwhelm: 60-Second Strategies for Balance in a Busy World," Beaver Hill Press, $16.95, after a near-death experience scared her into re-evaluating her own life. "And if you don't have a minute, not even one minute — well, then some can work in 30 seconds," she says with a laugh.

Take the 4-D technique, for instance. Grenough says this one helps your mind by giving your body a break, relaxing your tense muscles and clearing your mental clutter. "It's especially great when you've been sitting at a desk working for hours," she says.

How to do it (the nutshell version): Stand up, letting your body relax. Then, when you're centered, stretch, really stretch, your body to the ceiling while you yell, "North!" out loud in a full voice. Exhale, inhale, keep stretching as far as you can. Then let yourself drop forward toward the earth, yelling, "South!" while you collapse and let yourself just hang while you exhale. Repeat these techniques by standing up and stretching to the east and west, yelling and stretching with each new direction.

And, of course, you don't have to simply yell the names of the four directions. Grenough has taught this to groups who yell, "Spaghetti!" or "Fulfillment!" with equally good results.

If your office environment can't handle somebody standing up and yelling and stretching, perhaps a quieter exercise would be helpful. Grenough suggests the One-Stone Meditation, which she learned from the famous Vietnamese monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, at a retreat years ago.

"It's the simplest and perhaps the most powerful of the stress-reduction strategies," she says.

To do it, you find a stone — or any object of comfort — and hold it in the palm of your hand. Then, with relaxed attention, focus on the stone: its texture, color, the weight of it in your hand, the warmth or coolness of it. Then, with your eyes open, breathe in and out very slowly as you look at the stone.

"Take nine more in-and-out breaths while you look at the stone," says Grenough. "Don't get upset if your mind wanders and starts making grocery lists. That's what minds do. Just gently bring it back. This teaches your mind to stay focused, to be present in the moment. I've seen it work with everyone from CEOs to athletes to little children. Within less than a minute, practitioners report feeling calmer and clearer."

©New Haven Register 2006

Chilling Out With Millie Grenough
By Sue Braden
Out & About
from the

click here to read

The light is here
By Millie Grenough
Special to Out & About
from the

"God appears, and God is Light." So says poet William Blake. Cameron, my 8-year-old neighbor shouts, "The days are getting longer! Yippee!"

I asked some shoreline friends for their thoughts about this Season of Light.

"For you, what's the best?"
Guilfordite Letty M. Russell, an Emeritus Professor of Theology at the Yale Divinity School, answers, "Gathering with people and being able to celebrate both my own family traditions and my own Christian tradition."

"Having family around," says Madison architect Garry Leonard. Garry's wife Nancy, a communications specialist, and April Shuman, Associate Director of the Mercy Center in Madison, agree: "Being with friends and family, always."

Another friend, a sandwich-generation mom, exclaims, "It being over!"

Retailers add a slightly different perspective. Stephanie Clark and Mary Babinski, co-owners of Fleur de Lis in Branford, answer "Making our customers happy. Having a husband or grandma come in and get the 'perfect gift.' We feel like we're under everybody's tree." David Venables, co-owner of Trailblazer in Guilford and Mohegan Sun, says "Getting to see a lot of people that I don't see all year."

"The worst?"
Answers range from "the effort to go through traffic to get anywhere" (Letty), a light-hearted "chopping onions - it makes me cry" (Nancy), "working so hard to get everything together that you're exhausted at the event itself" (Garry), to "I feel sad because I realize that for many people this is a difficult time; they don't have as much as we do" (April).

The unnamed friend quoted above ("It being over!") adds, "What I really do not like is that everybody is rushing around in this commercialism and they forget what the holidays are about. Before I got involved in a mixed-religion marriage, I was able to do that - to shut out the places I thought were off-track. But it's much harder now."

The "worsts" for the store-owners? David - "long hours, hard work." Mary - "running out of stuff." Stephanie - "not being able to have something somebody's looking for."

"How do you get through the tough parts?"
April - "remind myself of the reason for the season and what's really important. Give myself some quiet time. Maybe two minutes to light a candle, or sit and look at the tree lights."

My unnamed friend - "When people in my husband's family ask me what I want, I say 'Give a contribution to something like the Women and Family Life Center in Guilford in the name of the holidays.'"

"Make every effort to celebrate it at home," says Letty. Nancy sighs a bit, "Try to get shopping done ahead of time so that the larder is full." Her husband Garry has an opposite shopping strategy: "Shop at the last minute to avoid stressing for a long time. Just go out and do it." (Be ready, you retailers. Garry may still be coming.)

The shop-owners? David - "run up and down East Rock at 2 AM."

Stephanie - "shut off the cell phone and TV. Take time out. Visit with a friend."

Mary - "a bit of solitude, cup of tea, realizing that it is a luxury to enjoy peace."

Me? As soon as I finish this, get up and stretch. Write myself a note to call the soup kitchen. Breathe a prayer of thanks that I am healthy, fairly sane, have a family, live in a warm home, and that - as my little neighbor says - the days are getting longer. Yippee!

Editor's note: Millie Grenough is an author, personal/professional coach and motivational speaker, clinical instructor in the Social Work of Psychiatry at the Yale University School of Medicine. Millie is president of the New Haven-based Grenough LLC and is an associate of the Corporate Coaching Center. Her new book OASIS in the Overwhelm: 60-second strategies for balance in a busy world offers quick relief for busy people. Contact Millie by visiting www.grenough.com and www.oasisintheoverwhelm.com

"Personal Coach helps Achieve Goals"

From

Maria Garriga interviews Millie Grenough, President Grenough LLC 6/07/2003

NEW HAVEN — If life is a game, then you need a coach — a life coach.

Millie Grenough, a New Haven-based personal coach, consultant and therapist, helps clients focus on goals both at the office and at home.

Millie Grenough holds a coaching session
at the Chamber of Commerce office in
downtown New Haven. Jeff Holt/Register

     For 20 years, Grenough has worked as a psychologist, but she has also been a nun, a singer, an author and an English teacher in Barcelona.
     Three years ago, Grenough branched into personal coaching.
"I heard about coaching through a friend. I was pretty astounded at what could happen in one session," she said.
     It’s a newly evolving area of therapy — therapy for people who are basically happy and healthy who want help achieving personal and professional goals.
     People who seek out life coaches tend to be professional achievers, such as Lesley Mills of New Haven, named the national 2000 Franchisee of the Year, or Anthony Rossley, the business banking officer at Citizens Bank in Hamden.
     Rossley met with her to have a better understanding of his life goals. "The experience was very enlightening," Rossley said.
     Mills, owner of several home health care franchises, was seeking a way to achieve balance in her personal and professional life.
     Under Grenough’s coaching, Mills has learned to be nicer to herself, making time for massages and manicures and a little quiet time every day. That helps her relax in her dealings with other people, Mills said.
     "Anything that can improve your relationships with staff goes straight to the bottom line," Mills said.
     According to a 2001 study by MetrixGlobal, a Des Moines, Iowa, company that measures performance improvement, executive coaching offers financial returns on investment that exceed 500 percent.
     "Coaching is very effective because it works individually with each leader, pinpointing their strengths and areas of opportunity, and addresses how they can produce specific results," said Merrill Anderson, chief executive officer for MetrixGlobal.
     Individual coaching helps people focus on business priorities, get more done in less time and lead more effective meetings, Anderson said.
     Grenough has carved several niches through her personal coaching business. Her work ranges from motivational speaking and stress management to peak performance training and finding the right balance in life and work.
     She said she is one of just 10 masters worldwide of the Rubenfeld Synergy method, a way of retraining the brain after traumatic incidents.
     She uses the method as part of her peak performance training.
     Grenough employs creative ideas in her therapeutic work. For instance, one client sought coaching to overcome shyness. The plan to reach that goal included greeting strangers and asking for information from customer service representatives.
     "Coaching is to help you get a life that is more satisfying," Grenough said.
     But it can also help you simply accomplish more.
     "Personal or professional coaches help set goals, measure goals and make clients accountable," said Dan Martinage, executive director of the International Coaches Federation based in Washington, D.C. The organization has 6,000 coaches and 170 chapters in 33 countries.

An interview by Teresa M. Pelham
in Greater Hartford's Business Weekly

Excerpts from the article Millie Grenough, President of Grenough LLC in New Haven, poses some tough questions and Zen thoughts to help you achieve work-life balance

HBJ: Why are people beginning to flock towards motivational speakers? / Grenough:: Because we're hungry. We know there must be something more to life than answering endless e-mails, facing deadlines, looking good, getting ahead... Stop the running and you'll find someone who wants a life and work that has meaning, impact, passion...

HBJ: What exactly is "performance coaching?" / Grenough: Performance coaching is helping a person or group get from where they are to where they want to be. It's an exciting and practical way to work with people, whether their goal is improved performance in their job or a happier personal life...An ex-shy person myself, I take special delight in inspiring shy people -- from line staff to CEOS -- to present confidently in public. I invite people to free their unique fire, and guide them in powerful and useful ways to do that.

HBJ: How do you tell folks to make the most of tough times? / Grenough: ...Part of my work is to help people recognize what is and isn't working in their lives, professionally and personally... Whether it's a down time or an up time, it's smart to take a hard look and ask, "Where am I now?" and "Where do I want to go?" This means dealing with tough realities, with barriers that stand in the way of moving ahead...

HBJ: Many of us are inspired by what motivational speakers say but never actually act on it. What makes things click for some people and not for others? / Grenough: ...Motivational speakers can light a spark...jumpstart a dream. But the speaker can't keep the connection going... For the inspiration to continue, the listener must move into action. I say to my clients and audiences, "Be the Power Point." Then they click.

Read the complete Q&A article. (Adobe Acrobat File)

"Put Me In, Coach"

From

Susan E. Cornell, feature writer, talks with Millie Grenough and other corporate coaches

Excerpts from the feature

"Coaching is a grass-roots movement spreading across corporate America, and coaches are enlisted at all rungs of the corporate ladder. Companies hire coaches as agents of change to shore up execs, to guide performance, to boost profits, and to make decisions regarding strategy and personnel...

"Executive coaching, Grenough says, is 'Whatever is needed to help executives function with more efficiency, more ease, and with greater satisfaction -- both in their professional and in their personal lives... The executive and the coach form an alliance together to target the desired areas and to go after them aggressively...'

"In the U.S. and Latin America, Grenough has developed programs and conducted trainings for academic institutions, businesses, non-profit organizations as well as for individuals and teams within these organizations... the Grenough Process works effectively with clients as diverse as accountants, athlete, attorneys, CEOs, clergy, and planning teams from large and small businesses."

Read the complete Business New Haven article

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